The Tongue Tied Muse

When I read the prompt this week, the first thing that came to mind was the Democratic Primary. I am baffled at how the democratic candidates are actually stooping to such an inconceivable level, in order to become the candidate for the Democratic Party. Yet after reflection, isn’t this is what we have come to expect in our politics; slander and the pointing of fingers. A part of me feels sorry for these individuals. Only, no one ever seems to take the high road, they just turn around and start slinging mud at one in retaliation. Wouldn’t it be nice also if they were not forced into defending themselves. It would be better for them all around because neither candidate seems to defend their self without opening mouth and inserting foot. We need to breathe for a moment, quiet ourselves and realize that we as a nation are failing. We are failing ourselves and our children. We need to focus on the issues that are facing this country. High gas prices, high food prices (with the prediction that they will continue to go up), a poor educational system, unemployment issues, financial housing issues, a nation of people with exorbitant debts and a currency that is hit an all time low.

All the he said, she said, he did, she did crap in our political system is tiring. It’s time to take the more important issues of the back burner and save this nation.

Read more i just don’t get its here

Last Wednesday we took a road trip up Columbus, OH from Atlanta for my cousin’s Bar Mitzvah. Only, we never made it to the actual event itself, because when we woke up on Saturday morning, we were snowed in at our hotel. 20.4 in. Breaking the 1910 record of 15.3 in. It was crazy to say the least and my parents had voted to not try and drive through this blizzard, for lack of skills and a 2 wheel drive vehicle. Here are a few pictures from that Saturday, morning.

It was beautiful and frustrating all rolled into one. Cooped up with my almost 4 year old and my parents in a hotel room wasn’t exactly what I had envisioned as a FUN weekend. But it only gets better. The weather forecasters have stated by this time, that the snow will probably stop around four or five in the evening. This is when it sinks in that wish I had a laptop because trying to maneuver the internet on my palm is just not going to cut it for the entire weekend. Boy was I happy when I discovered the hotel sole computer and that no one was on it.

My parents eventually came back to the room from the lobby to announce that the hotel would be providing lunch of hamburgers and chips, since not a restaurant in the area was open and our hotel was sans restaurant. But we were about to be saved because my cousin was sending her boyfriend over to our hotel to pick us up. Little did we know he was coming in a small, 2 wheel vehicle with shovel in the back to dig us out should we get stuck. Since he was from the area, I felt safe that he could navigate us through the treacherous roads and bring us safely to a house full of family, friends and real food.

We drove slowly over snow covered highways, with no more distinct lanes. The snow is piled everywhere from where snow plows have attempted to clear the streets, only they are blocking the entrances to the side streets from the main roads as well. Eventually, we reached the street which was such a spot, full of plowed snow which we needed to go down to get to my cousin’s house. Shortly before us someone else had tried and they were dug out. We take the right turn onto the street thinking we will be able to now that someone else has packed the snow some. But low and behold, we get stuck. The car simple stops on a mound of snow and we can’t move. People driving by, coming out of their houses nearby and walking all try and help dig us out. It was actually extremely friendly and nice. We call my cousin’s to send help and to send a bigger vehicle that will b able to get us down the street (now I know why people drive Suburbans). My cousin’s boyfriend resorts to having to drive himself home because his little car will never make it to the party. My parents, myself and my daughter all climb into the Suburban and safely arrive to join the fun. The ride back later that evening, after the snow had stopped was a much better one. The only question now was would we be able to leave Sunday as we had planned. We decided we would take our chances on trying to get out of town. The forecast called for more snow Sunday evening, though it wasn’t suppose to be much, who really wanted to find out.

So here are the leaving town pictures I took:

In the end it was an adventure that I will never forget. My daughter who was born and at the moment is being raised in Atlanta had the opportunity to go sledding with her grandfather and cousins and perhaps see the most snow she will get to see for a long time to come. Perhaps, one day we will venture off to live in a place that gets snow like that occasionally, but until then…we are home in the nice spring temperatures of the south and loving it.

Happy 100th Scribble everyone!

This weeks’ prompt was time machine. This story came to me based on a altered book I constructed once in school based on Science Fiction writer Octavia Butler’s book “Kindred”.

There I stood in the middle of the room, bare white walls all around me. The room began to spin slowly; than faster and faster, until it stopped suddenly. There in front of me was a large hole that had not been there when I entered the room, a hole that symmetrically was perfect and tidy as if it had been placed there just to provoke my curiosity, and it did. I hesitated instantly. Yet, eventually, I walked slowly towards the hole, cautiously, fearful, unknowing, yet, mesmerized.

I placed one eye against the hole in the wall and slowly closed the other…

It appeared to be early morning, perhaps around 4:00 am. On the corner of the street there was a red fire hydrant and behind it stood the ghost of what appeared to be a little girl. The right sleeve of the off-white gown she was wearing was torn. Splotches of dried blood covered the gown. In her left hand she held on tightly to a bright green stuffed dragon, staring helplessly at a young couple who were standing directly in the middle of the street as they crossed over heading towards their apartment building. The child’s long blond hair was matted down to one side of her face, which carried a slight yellowish tint to it. Her once blue eyes, now looked grey and her face was full of scratches.

As the couple reached the other side of the street their eyes widened, mouths dropped and bodies froze at the sight of the girl.

Steam rose up from a manhole near them creating a misty haze around the child’s figure and the light from the street lamp above her created a halo above the child’s head.

The man slowly took a step backwards pulling at his wife shaking hand. As he turned to see her reaction he noticed the tears forming in her eyes. This wasn’t the first time.

Each year, at the same time and in the same place they ran into the ghost of their daughter. But this night there was something different that they could not understand. This time she smiled and motioned for them to follow her. The man hesitated for a moment unsure what to do. But his wife, anxious continued toward the ghostly figure.

Suddenly, her husband heard the sound of breaks screeching, the smell of rubber from tires that drew his attention away from his wife and the ghost of his daughter. The car which was going extremely fast to stop hoisted his wife’s body into the air. She landed moments later on the concrete, her body limp and not moving. He ran to her side as quickly as he could but she was no longer breathing and blood poured from her nose. It became apparent she was dead. As he looked up towards the fire hydrant he no longer saw the ghost of his child either. She had disappeared.

Now years later, each time the man walks past this corner at 4:00am he sees his wife and daughter playing together by the fire hydrant. They stop playing, motion him to cross the street and join them. But the man is not alone. Surrounded by his new family he simply smiles, blows them each a kiss and walks down the street towards home.

See other time machine stories here

I lay in bed. First one twist, then a slight turn, and back again. My nerves are shot and I need a job bad. It’s going on almost two months now of constant job searching and still nothing. Resumes go out, rejections come in. Not qualified enough, overqualified for others. I want to scream out loud but I can’t with my child sleeping in the next room. Somehow though, I can justify to myself that screaming will relieve some of the tension and stress I am going through. Only in the end to realize when I wake up in the morning it will all still be there. The reality is that finding a job today, is not what it used to be and will never be again. This is the reason why, at the same time I am trying to do my own thing, but that takes time too. It takes a massive amount of time to have your own gig and be able to sustain a life from it. In the meantime, the bills need to be paid and food needs to be put on the table. I am not alone, I have a child who needs to be taken care of. Ending up on the street just isn’t an option. If I were by myself, I would throw everything on the front lawn and put up a big “FOR SALE” sign. I’d take the proceeds and by a one way ticket out west and never look back. It would be that easy. But I am not alone and I have another mouth to feed, another life to think of, to plan for and make sure is safe. So, I have to stay put for the moment and continue my search, no matter how frustrating and bleak it may seem. I must have faith to know, that if I continue to be positive, and direct that energy toward the universe, that I will get what I need in return. So for now, I will close my eyes once again. I will try and lay still and be quiet within myself and my head. I will gradually fall asleep in peace and wake up tomorrow to start the process of “job hunting” all over again.

Passion, for me can be a strong emotion. It’s not related to love or sex; which is often the first idea that creeps into the minds of most people, at the sound of the word.

Passion for me means engaging in things of my life that matter most. A love for reading, listening to music, cooking, writing, or taking long walks on a beach. Perhaps, it’s spending time with those I love and who make me happy.

Passion becomes an emotion where I find contentment when I am 100% sure, that in the moment I am doing what I know I love.

More Sunday Scribbling Passions can be found here.

It is pouring today. I hate driving here (Atlanta)  when it rains so hard because it seems as if all the crazies come out.  Not that they don’t when it isn’t raining. I’d have to say that this is one state that has some of the worst drivers, I have ever seen. Perhaps it’s because we have so many people living here from so many different places it causes more confusion.

I thought I was going to have a nervous, anger break down while I was on the road this morning. Everyone seemed to feel it was okay to park wrong, back up without looking, drive faster then they should or drive so slow and with such great fear,  that they held up everyone else in their path.

I deem myself a pretty good driver. I learned haw to drive in Europe when I was in high school and learning there is no joke. There are very rigorous driving standards and lessons before one is even allowed to get a license. They don’t play! You have to be 18 to even begin, you have mandatory hours you must have with a driving instructor and  you pay a lot of money to get a license (when I was in Germany, a German had to pay $2000 average). They teach you how drive defensively and be extremely aware of your surroundings.  Not the case here in the U.S. For the longest time in Georgia, you never even took your driving part of the test on the road, it was only in the DMV parking lot. Most people do not take lessons from a driving school and spend very little time actually on the road practicing.

In the end, I had to turn up the music in the car, and sang out loud for a few minutes  to regroup. I figured it wasn’t worth my starting to create a negative day for myself, by perpetuating unnecessary provoked emotions of others, to set me in a tail spin (I’ve be trying to use the techniques from The Secret).

I am looking forward to the weekend. Lot’s of fun things to do and some not so fun things as well. But I will take it all in stride and keep a smile on my face.

Have a great weekend!

you breath slowly,

eyes closed,

chest rising

then settling

yet I cannot hear a sound.

sometimes you mumble words,

other times you speak aloud.

i see you wake up,

still in the midst of a dream

crying, screaming, laughing or talking.

then

just as suddenly put your head down

and begin breathing again,

so still, so quiet in breath

chest still rinsing and settling.

sometimes wondering

sometimes worrying

if you will make it through

to the next day.

~ Lisa @ 2008

See more Sunday Scribblings here

So I joined Facebook a while ago now. It has to say the least been a crazy experience. I have reconnected with and people have reconnected with me, who I have not seen in ions. I have found it  is also a very addicting site.

So, I am still neglecting blogging on a regular basis. I am not happy with myself about it. For it is something I promised myself I would try in 2008 to do on a regular basis.

My daughter had her first official school interview for the Atlanta International School 4k program last weekend and freaked out when it was time for me to leave her alone with the staff, teachers and all the other kids. She did not complete it and we will have to go back later in the month for a “second chance”  interview. Not 100% sure why but my child even at going on four years old  still has great separation anxiety from me when she is going into totally new and unfamiliar situations.  Even when I sat in on a  karate class with her to “try it out”,  she cried and wanted to come to me during different points in the class. In some ways I feel for her but there is a side of me that is frustrated too. I  want her to be able to feel ok about trying new things and not having me there with her. I want her to be more outgoing and fearless in these situations. I have been researching and reading up on how I can help her through this hiccup in her life. Hopefully, through positive reinforcement and more exposure things will get better.

So much to do today, thought I would take a break to write and entry. Must catch up on reading other blogs and seeing what the world is up too.

Recently I started teaching myself how to knit so I have been perusing the internet and the libraries for books on how to knit or knitting in general. While searching the library catalog I came across this wonderful children’s story “Shall I Knit You A Hat? A Christmas Yarn” by Katie and Sara Klise. Even though it is a Christmas story and Christmas has long passed, I wanted to read it, so it was one of the books we read tonight as a bed time story.

This lovely story about a little baby bunny who’s mother knits a hat to keep his ears warm and he convinces his mother to make hat’s for all the other animals in their town as Christmas presents. So the mother knits each hat to specific specifications for each animal. After she gives each their gifts the first winter snow falls and all the animals are happy to have their knitted hats to keep them warm. The little rabbit then realizes he has forgotton to get his own mother a gift. But as every mother would she explains to the little bunny that the best gift she could have is to be with him at Christmas (a brief summary).

My daughter who will be turning four this year listened in awe as I read her the story. Then at the very end, as I was closing the book she stated very matter of fact, that bunnies could not make hats and that this story was not real. I had a slight chuckle as I explained to her the meaning of what stories are. I realized that I have been making big assumptions that she would know that all the stories that we are reading, were not necessarily reality or true. I found it fascinating that there was something in this story that clicked to make her question what she was being told. I hope that she continues to question things in life and not just except everything as fact.

This is also my first time discovering Katie and Sara’s books and I am looking forward to reading the others.

We also read:

Hopefully, in the fall my daughter will be leaving her preschool to attend the International School for 4K. She has expressed her not wanting to leave her school and friends so I though this appropriate to help with transition.

The Charlie and Lola series of books as well as the DVD’s are a favorite of mine. I think I enjoy it as much as my little one does. But spending that time in the evening cuddled up next to my little princess reading, is one part of motherhood I treasure the most.

I slid into this “New Year” beaming. I had a series of serendipity experiences just as the year was coming to the end. It was surreal for me as I had never experienced anything like it before. It solidified for me that the up and coming year will most definitely bring lots of “new” into 2008.

New in 2008 means for me:

• changing my perceptions of resolutions into goals
• creating new beginnings from old endings through reconnection with old and dear friends
• new creative expressions for my life; in my home , my dress, my writings, my world.
• new books, magazines and newspapers to devour
• new knowledge to acquire
• new travel experiences
• new financial freedom
• new friends; acquaintances and business partners
• new adventures in motherhood
• and accepting and going with whatever else new and positive and comes my way
• and perhaps a new love interest to look forward to as well.

For the first time in my adult life I have a feeling that this new year is setting the stage for what will truly will be the start of all good years to come.

Check out more “New” or “New Year” Sunday Scribblings here